Xerxes Whitney has run marathons, climbed mount Whitney, coached collegiate and high school tennis teams, meditates, writes poetry and is a middle school physical education teacher. He is an accomplished athlete who’s been active in and inspired by sports and the outdoors his entire life. He also was born with cerebral palsy.
“Being unique isn’t easy,” Xerxes, pronounced Zerk-sees, shares. His speech is slowed and seems to take effort. He walks a little funny and sometimes his arms probably don’t behave exactly as he’d like. He is a good looking guy. But I know all of these surface representations are not what Xerx-es, or anyone, wants to be seen for.
Cerebral palsy affects body movement, muscle control, muscle coordination, muscle tone, reflex, posture and bal-ance. It can also impact fine motor skills, gross motor skills and oral motor functioning.
How could this man, with a diagnosis of cerebral palsy, excel more than most through sports and physical activity?
“My parents didn’t treat me any differently than my sib-lings. Getting food on the table was a bigger challenge than my disability.”
His parents tried to enroll him in horseback riding when he was young, but it just didn’t inspire him.
“I wanted to play baseball, so I did. My grandma got me tennis lessons when I was 13, and I fell in love with tennis.”
He didn’t have many people to practice with so he would hit hundreds of balls a day against a wall. He ran cross coun-try in middle school and played tennis for his high school team all four years.
What should have been one of Xerxes’ biggest challenges served as his greatest inspiration.
“I liked that sports were black and white. I either caught the ball or I didn’t. So I just kept practicing and I kept getting better.”
Xerxes went on to play tennis in college, also getting his Bachelors degree in Economics. His team finished second in the country four years in a row. He ended up being a colle-giate tennis Team Manager and Assistant Coach.
“I dreamed of being a collegiate tennis Head Coach. I felt discriminated against when I didn’t get the position with the tennis and coaching experience I had. Not getting that job was the first time I really felt like my disability kept me from a dream.
“I had a vision that only I could hold my own self back, but when I couldn’t get hired or the girl I liked didn’t call me back, I was at a dead end. I didn’t know how to navigate that.”
Missing out on the coaching position, he got his Masters degree in Applied Sports Science. Even a Master’s Degree wasn’t enough to make landing a job easy.
“After a long, drawn-out job search, I started working for my dad. It was definitely a low time in my life.
“I had a resistance against explaining that I had cerebral palsy because I didn’t want to be defined by cerebral palsy. I want them to see me. I thought if I didn’t talk about it, then it wouldn’t be an issue. But the less I talked about it, the more it was an issue.”
The discouraging job search provided a set back that felt new to Xerxes. He discovered poetry and began expressing himself through writing. Through poetry, he felt free to bear who he was and he wasn’t afraid to share how he felt.
“There is no greater freedom than actively being true to who you are.”
He got a job as a high school Athletic Director. He decided to get his teaching credential, and joined a middle school as their Physical Education teacher in 2000. He’s been teaching at the same middle school ever since.
“I would be so positive at work all day, feeling great about making a difference and really living my life, but then I’d come home and be alone. I got inspired to get to know the relationship with myself no matter what feeling I’m experi-encing.”
Xerxes discovered meditation, which helped him more deeply know his true self. Through meditation, he began shedding layers of heavy emotions. He began attending meditation retreats, some local and one 10-day retreat in Thailand.
Not to leave any stone unturned, Xerxes also decided to climb Mount Whitney.
“It only seemed right given my name. It wasn’t easy, and it really tested my balance, but I felt so alive on the mountain. I felt how fleeting life could be because I knew if I slipped, I could be gone.
“During the ascent, I started think about how I’ve always been really focused on achievement. I’ve always felt like I was supposed to accomplish a lot. The desire for achieve-ment pushed me toward goals, but it always left me feeling unfulfilled. I was running marathons, but I realized I could always run faster, no matter how fast I ran. There was an emptiness accompanying always trying to prove myself.
“When we got towards the top, my friend and mountain climbing partner said, ‘we have one hour to make it to the top—should we go for it?’
“I knew I was slow and tired, and in those moments of in-ternal conflict, I realized that I didn’t have to get to the top to feed that need for achievement. I didn’t need to prove myself anymore. We turned back, and I started really embracing the journey instead of the destination.”
Meditation and poetry continued to inspire him along his journey of self-acceptance. He released his first book of poetry in 2002, entitled What’s Your Name6, a tribute to his struggle and acceptance of his complicated name and the challenges he faced pronouncing it when he first met some-one. He released his second book, Busting Through: Exploring My Truth7, in 2007.
Xerxes continues to tap into what inspires him to keep his students motivated and inspired.
“I’ve probably given a few hundred high fives in the last two days,” he says, fresh into a new school year.
When I asked if the kids are tough on him when they first meet him, he replied, “They just want to know if it’s going to be a cool class. If I’m showing that I’m comfortable, then they can be comfortable with me. Sometimes meeting kids is easier because they don’t have a story behind what makes me different. They don’t have a story of how it should be. As adults, we build up limitations. To my nephews, I’m just their uncle.”
I wish I could say that inspiration empowered Xerxes to make his biggest dreams come true and made his cerebral palsy irrelevant, but this has yet to prove true.
Inspiration has, however, kept Xerxes living a vibrant, healthy and happy life despite his disability. He encourages his students to be positive, infusing meaningful quotes into jumping jacks and daily exercises. He inspires other through sharing his story and poetry.
“If tomorrow is my last day on earth, I want to know that I’ve given all that I can, that I’ve had the best experience of life attainable, that I’ve lived authentically and that I’ve made a difference.”8
Sports Inspires Xerxes Whitney to Live Fully
