Lead Decisions in Your Life

No one can run your life better than you, but if we’re not feeling confidently connected to our true selves, we might feel otherwise. Instead of leaning on others who are willing to lead our lives for us, we must honor ourselves by choosing to be more involved in decisions that impact our lives. Just because we can let others make decisions or take care of us doesn’t mean it is feeding our true selves and helping us show up fully in our own lives.

Trusting others more than ourselves is one of the 10 Ceilings of Happiness that can often show up as chronic indecisiveness. Ironically, indecision can be a choice that we intentionally make out of fear. We may have a fear of being judged, fear of being “wrong’ (judging ourselves, since “right” and “wrong” are nothing more than judgments), fear of other’s reactions and feelings (being met with disapproval, rejection or disappointment), and fear of not being “okay” after our decision. None of these revolve around trusting what we truly want, need or desire.

We can use decisions as a way to better lead our lives, discovering our true wants and needs and building strength to let our true selves show. We can choose to stop deflecting small decisions, like where to meet or what to have for dinner. We may need to create more independence by learning or enhancing skills, whether critical thinking skills, how to cook or how to fix a running toilet. Leading our lives might also mean saying “no” more often. We must become assertive and aware about ways we can create opportunities to connect to and share our true selves, if only to practice honoring ourselves until it becomes our way of living.

Start with small opportunities to share what you like and don’t like. Start making small decisions in front of other people. Pay attention to times you don’t take a definitive opinion on a preference, especially when asked. “Easy going” and flexible can be great attributes, but not if they come at the price of not knowing your true self and taking the easy way out to let others decide for you.

When a friend asks where you want to eat, don’t deflect and let the other person choose. Pick your favorite spot or try a completely new one. Every time you make a decision that honors your true self, you are becoming more connected with your true self. You are becoming stronger every time you persevere through the fear of being judged or disapproved. Be comfortable saying no and stating your opinion when you expect someone else to disagree. Practice living life by your choices, even if someone else attempts to reject them. If you have someone in your life that will not like, love or support you for who you are, then they will always be a ceiling on your happiness, and a low one at that.

Celebrate your choices. You don’t have to be afraid that your decisions might be “wrong” because there is no one that can determine that for you. No matter how many pros and cons precede, an outcome can never be precisely predicted, and you can handle whatever follows. You will be “okay,” and if you start making small and big decisions from your true self, you’ll be on a new path to true happiness. You are here on this earth to share your unique perspective, enjoy what you like and express your true self.

This post includes excerpts from Chronic Indecisiveness.